Musing

I guess when it boils dwn to it, trust and belief are the same thing. When you begin to doubt, it all falls apart. One just needs a simple heart, it doesnt matter how complicated your mind is.Peace is barely as fleeting as it seems.We've just forgotten how to get there. Peace be with you. Possibly the most amazing blessing one can hope for.

There and back again

Now i know why it's called an Irish Carbomb.

But anyways, I pass the cemetery everyday on my way to work. And i pass it when i return back to my abode. But, there was one evening when the sunset hit all the gravestones at once, them being all on a slope. That soft gold light and the dark black ornamental curvature of each and every ended life, or new beginning was breathtaking. I fail to see within myself how so. I shed a tear. Heartwrenching. I shed another.

Tilt of the head

It may be tough, but let's learn to take things one step at a time. There are alot of people behind me. I need to be there to love and be loved. Amen.

Struggle

I'm cold and i'm afraid, i'm sad and i'm confused. I'm stuck in such an immovable rut, at least for the next year of my life. I try to remain positive, to do the things disney movies teach you. To never let go of hope and to always keep fighting. Right now i'm not fighting because they want me to. I'm letting go. I'm fighting to breathe, and i will succeed. This is my life, and no bloody law is going to control it. I can't wait to cut my stupid card in two and throw in the direction of this stupid country. I will hold on. I must calm down.It's so very difficult when you're this tired. One step at a time, one day at a time. Soon, i'll be doing the things i want. I want to forget this ever happened. It's just one big bad dream.

Dropping by! Here to stay?

Well, i'm just dropping by.... Which is kinda weird seeing as this is my blog. I apologise to the, like, 4 people who read this. Somewhere, it all just fell apart. Lost motivation is perhaps the scar that takes to heal longest. No antidote, anecdote or doting in particular can aid this terrible terrible disease. It's like, the one that got away. But one of life's greatest lesson i learnt, is that the one that got away can be the one that came back. I guess the cold grey steel and concrete of this country finally got to me. I aged and regained my youth all at once in the past few months. Growing up is terrible. But when you're in it's stride, it's the simplest thing in the world.But, alas it is particularly poignant, that age does not revere time. Passing not with the ticking of the clock, but with the growth of the mind.

I find myself...being both melancholic and happy at the same time. Simple joys touch my heart and flies it to the moon and back. But the simple sad thoughts send me straight back to earth. This volatility is one hell of a ride though. Well, going through national service now. Which explains alot. I'm not one to believe in war or any of these societal flaws. Maybe i'm anarchist. Maybe i'm a hippie. Maybe some weed will solve everything, i don't know. Sure there are those moments of pride, minute pinpricks of years of propagnada finally gaining enough momentum to cast a dizzying blow to my head. Dizzying, but for a second only. But all in all, I don't believe in it. There are no enemies, only the misled. A little love, seriously will solve everything.

I will continue writing,even if no body reads, i will continue writing. Though they might not amount to much, it's important that that moment existed, on shining moment that mattered, in a sea of useless, wasted pointless thoughts. One moment existed, and there is a silent beauty in that as well.